Romance scams: tell-tale signs an online relationship could be a scam

Australians lost almost $140 million to romance scams in Australia in 2025, according to the National Anti‑Scam Centre’s (NASC) latest Targeting Scams report¹. That makes romance scams the third most costly type of scam nationally, despite being reported less often than phishing or fake invoices.

What sets this type of scam apart isn’t just the lost money – these scams are often long‑running, highly personal and devastating for the people affected. Understanding how they work – and how they are evolving – is key to helping Australians protect themselves.

A romance scam occurs when a scammer creates a fake romantic relationship to build trust, emotional dependence and credibility with the goal of extracting money.

These scams are usually not quick or obvious. Instead, they are emotionally driven and may be long-running, with scammers investing time to build relationships. They may encourage reliance, affection and loyalty, while discouraging victims from sharing details of the relationships with friends or family.

The resulting emotional attachment can make it harder to recognise warning signs, or to walk away once doubts begin to emerge. 

Most romance scams follow a similar pattern:

1. Initial contact

This is often made through:

• online dating apps.
• social media platforms.
• messaging apps.

Scammers often use fake profiles with stolen photos and carefully crafted backgrounds to appear trustworthy and appealing. In Ronnie’s case, contact came through a genuine online community website.

2. Building emotional trust

The scammer quickly forms a strong emotional bond, often:

• expressing intense feelings early.
• communicating frequently.
• presenting themselves as kind, reliable and attentive.

3. Moving off the platform

Victims are encouraged to move conversations away from public platforms to private messaging apps, reducing the chances of detection.

4. Requests for money

Once trust is established, requests for money begin. These are often framed as:

• emergencies (medical bills, legal issues, business problems).
• travel costs to finally meet in person.
• investment opportunities, including cryptocurrency or foreign trading.
• requests for gift cards, wire transfers or crypto - methods that are hard to reverse.

The requests may start small but can escalate quickly. In Ronnie’s case, the person who contacted him claimed to be a widow struggling to pay bills.

While romance scams are reported less often than some other scam types, their impact is outsized, as the NASC report shows¹:

• Losses exceeded $139 million in 2025, according to the NASC.
• Romance scams are consistently among the costliest scams per victim.
• Older Australians account for a disproportionately high share of total losses.
• Individual losses frequently reach tens or even hundreds of thousands of dollars.

Because victims often feel embarrassed or emotionally conflicted, many cases go unreported, meaning the true cost may be even higher.

Romance scams rely on emotional pressure. Common warning signs include relationships that become emotionally intense very quickly, requests to move conversations off public platforms, or repeated reasons for not meeting in person or via live video.

Financial red flags include sudden crises, “once-in-a-lifetime” investment opportunities, requests for secrecy or urgency, and requests for money, gift cards, or help moving funds.

If something feels rushed, secretive or emotionally pressuring, it’s worth pausing – particularly before sending any money.

Artificial intelligence is increasingly being used to make romance scams more convincing. Scammers can now generate realistic profile photos, tailor emotionally persuasive messages and maintain multiple conversations at once.

More concerningly, AI-generated voice messages and video content can be used to simulate real people, making it harder to rely on appearances alone. While these tools can make scams more persuasive, the scammer’s goal remains the same: manipulate emotions and extract money.

Romance scams are evolving alongside technology and consumer behaviour. Recent trends include:

• greater use of investment‑style romance scams.
• more sophisticated stories involving overseas work, defence roles or wealth management.
• increased pressure to use cryptocurrency or overseas platforms.
• longer grooming periods designed to deepen emotional reliance before asking for money.

These changes make early awareness and getting an outside perspective more important than ever.

No matter how convincing or emotionally real a relationship feels, some principles are worth holding onto:

• Never send money to someone you haven’t met in person.
• Take time to pause before acting on emotional pressure.
• Talk openly with a trusted family member or friend – an outside perspective can make a big difference.

If something doesn’t feel right, report it early, even if no money has been lost.

Remember: Stop. Check. Protect.